Courtesy nateswartphoto

Wow – this place is duusssss-teeeee! Been a while since I’ve around – but I’ve been a busy girl!

So – we are in our new house. As of tomorrow it will be a whole 4 weeks since we moved in. And for the most part everything went great. For the most part. The week we were supposed to close and move turned into a roller coaster ride that wouldn’t end and I nearly pulled all of my hair out. It was insane. At least for me. And for the rest of the Laughing Family. We were not Laughing. Well, the Laughing Dad tried to help make me a little less stressed, but there really wasn’t much to ease the pain!

See, the guy buying our house decided 2 weeks before the closing date to switch lenders! Apparently he found out his original lender was charging him nearly double in closing costs as what most lenders charge and he wanted out. And his real estate agent told him it was OK to switch and sent him to a lender who said they could do it in two weeks. But they lied. And the lies continued.

So the plan was for us to move out Sat. Nov 5th (movers were taking everything on a big truck that day), we would clean the house Nov 6th & closings (the sale of our house and our purchase of our new one) were both to happen on Monday the 7th. And then we would move in on Tuesday the 8th. And his new lender kept saying the 7th looked good – so we stuck with that plan.

After the movers left our house on the 5th we did a little cleaning and later that afternoon checked into a hotel for 3 nights. We did clean on Sunday as planned. And then Monday arrived. And nothing happened. Up until late Friday (the 4th) the buyer’s new lender still hadn’t given him the clear to close with all the needed paperwork. And on Monday they did not meet the deadline. Arrrgggghhhhh!

So, we did do the walk-through on that Monday of the house we were buying, but that’s all that happened. As a side note – we had been given our “clear to close” 2 whole weeks prior to this and were just sitting and waiting. Our ducks were all in a row.

So Tuesday arrived. And nothing happened. Well, something sort of happened – but not house buying and selling. Tuesday was supposed to be our move-in day. All of our belongings, except what we needed for 3 days in a hotel, were sitting on a moving truck. And the moving company  was overbooked and understaffed for the entire rest of the week, so Tuesday was the only day they could guarantee a delivery until the next week. So we asked the sellers to give us access to the house. They said we could use the garage, but would not let us have access to the rest of the house. So 3 nice moving guys put everything we owned into a 2-car garage.

Oh, and we extended our hotel stay by 1 night. Let’s just say that a hotel room is not a fun place to live with our two Monsters. I mean Laughing Boys.

And then it was Wednesday. And we found out our buyer (whose lender kept feeding lies about being ready to close) had a PODS delivered to what was technically still our house without permission. That’s a no-no when buying and selling. The Laughing Dad wanted to call PODS and have them remove it and suggested we have it delivered to one of our friend’s houses where the buyer would never find it.

But Wednesday at noon our attorney called and we went and signed all of the paperwork for the closing of the house we were buying. Supposedly our buyer was good to go and was going to sign late that afternoon. That meant paperwork could be filed first thing Thursday morning with the Registry of Deeds and we could finally move in. LIE. We did sign our paperwork – that part is true. He did not sign that afternoon or evening, however. His lender STILL did not send paperwork.

So now it’s Thursday. We stayed at a friend’s house on Wednesday night – which we are still forever grateful for – their hospitality was a lifesaver that week! And as the day goes on we hear nothing, nothing, nothing. We finally hear around 12:30 that he’s signing at 1PM, and just after 3PM we hear that sale was recorded with the ROD and is official. But no one knows if the one we purchased was recorded. A few phone calls later we find out it’s all official and we are figuring out how to get the keys to our new house and how to get moved in!

We hired movers (labor only) for that Friday (11th) to move everything from the garage to the rest of the house and then spent the weekend busting our not-so-laughing asses trying to get as much done as we could before the Laughing Dad had to leave on Monday for a 10-day trip!

And we did a lot – and then while he was gone I did the rest. Yes, the rest. There are a few boxes in the closet of the office and of the guest room I need to go back to & go through, and there are about 15 boxes of “garage stuff” in the garage sitting on the Laughing Dad’s side that we need to take care of so he can park in the garage as well. But the house is unpacked.

Unpacked, some pictures on the walls, and the whole place is decorated for Christmas. All in 2 weeks time. Phew!

OK – so I do apologize for the blow-by-blow. But when it was all over, as stressed, upset, angry, and disgruntled as I was, I couldn’t help but sit back and laugh at what a totally insane, crazy and laughable week it had been. We joked with our realtor and attorney that they had surely seen worse in their years of doing this and they assured us that ours was the most f’ed up closing fiasco they has surely ever seen.

Woo-hoo – we set the bar!


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